Question of the Week: How to Get Over the Loss of a Friend

Every week we receive questions from our community members, asking for advice on topics of life, love, career and more. This week we heard from Heather who is struggling with how to get over the loss of a friend. Here is our advice.

Q – Hi, I’m Heather. My best friend and I had a huge fight a few months ago and haven’t spoken since. She really hurt me and I don’t want to be friends any longer, but I’m finding it really hard to forget about it and move on. We were friends for a long time so it’s hard to get used to not having her around. What can I do to make it easier to move on?

A – Hi, Heather. Thank you so much for your question. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. Losing a friend is always hard, especially a best friend. Our friends are the extended family members that we get to choose and they are there beside us during all of the ups and downs of life, celebrating when things go well and supporting us through the bad stuff.

A friend breakup is even harder than a romantic one in a lot of ways, so it can be even harder to get over. When you break up with a romantic partner, you have your best friend to console you and help you through it. With a friend breakup though, this is even harder. However, it’s not impossible. Here is our advice on how to get over the loss of a friend.

Accept what happened

Moving on from the end of a relationship is very similar to coping with grief after the death of a loved one, and so you’ll probably go through the usual stages when moving on from the loss of your friendship. The final stage of grief is acceptance. It’s important to accept what has happened and stop yourself from wondering ‘what if?’. Wondering what would happen if things had gone differently will only serve to drive you crazy and stop you from moving on.

Allow yourself to feel

It can be tempting to ignore or deny how you’re feeling and pretend that you’re fine with what has happened, but this will only prolong the process of moving on. Suppressed feelings always surface eventually so it’s best to face and deal with them head-on.

Allow yourself to feel sad about the end of your friendship. Your friend hurt you, so you’re allowed to be angry, too. It may be hard at first, but letting yourself feel your feelings is healthy and helps you process what has happened. The most important thing is how you manage and express these feelings.

Write it all down

Expressing and letting out your feelings is necessary when you’re hurt, but it’s important to do it in a healthy way. When you’re hurt, it’s tempting to send angry messages to hurt that person back. However, this will only make you feel worse in the long run.

One good way to get your feelings off your chest is to write them all down in a letter. Write a letter to your friend telling them exactly how you feel, holding nothing back. Release all of your feelings, and then destroy the letter. This is a very cathartic process that helps you feel better by saying exactly what you need to without any further consequences.

Keep yourself busy

Without your friend, you’ll probably find yourself with a lot of extra time that would usually be spent with them. It’s important not to spend this time doing nothing because that will lead to you dwelling on things and feeling worse. Instead, fill up this time with fun and exciting things to keep you busy and distracted.
You could join a class or take up a hobby that you’ve always wanted to do, or you could spend more time with family and other friends. Anything that keeps you busy and your mind off your ex-friend is good, and after a while it will feel natural to not have them there.

Make new friends

You don’t necessarily need to make a new best friend straight away. Missing your best friend doesn’t mean you should replace them. However, spending more time with other friends and making new ones is always good. Joining a class is a great way to make new friends. Doing something that is out of your comfort zone helps people form quick and strong bonds and makes for great friendships.

One silver lining of having the extra time is that you can spend more time focusing and nourishing your other friendships. When we spend so much time with one friend, our other friendships can often be neglected a little. Now is the time to reach out to those who you may have grown distance from recently and reconnect. You never know, one of your other friends may grow to become your new best friend.

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Understanding Dreams: Being Naked

Welcome back to our ‘Understanding Dreams’ series, where we examine some of our most common dream themes and delve into what they mean for us in both our subconscious minds and our daily, waking lives. This month’s dream theme is being naked. Most of us have had the experience of going about our daily business like normal in a dream, and then suddenly looking down to find ourselves completely naked. Maybe you’re at work, in a very important meeting; or you’re at the front of an assembly at school; or perhaps you’re doing your shopping at the supermarket. One minute everything is fine, then the next you’re mortified and trying to cover yourself up while everyone around you laughs.

This is a very common dream that usually causes massive relief when the dreamer wakes up. However, it can also cause much embarrassment and maybe even some stress. This is natural of course because nobody wants to find themselves naked in public. But what do these dreams mean? Here we examine the reasons behind these dreams and what they mean for your life.

How does being naked make you feel?

The first question you need to ask yourself is how you feel when you’re naked. Do you feel exposed and vulnerable? Or do you feel free and unburdened? How you feel about the situation has a big effect on what the dream could mean for your life.

Are you feeling vulnerable?

Many people use clothes to make a statement and express their personality, whereas others see them as a way to cover up and hide who they are. If you feel vulnerable when naked in your dream, it’s a sign that you’re feeling the same way in real life.

People often feel vulnerable when they’ve put themselves out there for the world to see them, exactly as they are. Maybe you’ve brought down your metaphorical walls in a relationship and let your partner see exactly who you are and how you feel. It’s a very raw and sometimes scary feeling, leaving you feeling exposed and at risk. However, being vulnerable in a relationship is usually a good thing as it allows you to create a deeper connection with your partner.

If in your dream you’re feeling terrified and are trying to cover yourself up, it could mean that you are scared of revealing too much of yourself in real life and being ridiculed or rejected. If you’re feeling like this, try to examine why you’re feeling so scared. Is somebody else making you feel unworthy? Or are you simply used to building walls to keep people at arm’s length? If this is the case, you may benefit from wearing your heart on your sleeve for a change.

If you’re feeling exposed and embarrassed

Another possible reason that you feel exposed and embarrassed by being naked is that you are hiding a secret and are scared of it being revealed. There’s a reason we say ‘the naked truth’, and that’s because nakedness is honest and leaves us with nowhere to hide.

If you’re hiding a secret, it is probably playing on your mind a lot during the day, and dreaming about being naked and exposed is simply your fears of the secret being revealed spilling over into your subconscious thoughts. Think about why you’re keeping this secret? Is it yours, or that of somebody else’s? Is keeping the secret causing you stress and anxiety? Would it be better for you if you revealed the secret? Perhaps you could confide in somebody you trust, who wouldn’t tell anybody else? Just by telling one trustworthy person could help you feel as though you have got it off your chest, and help you stop worrying about it so much.

Do you feel happy and free?

Dreams in which you’re naked and happy or proud, or both, are much rarer than those in which you’re embarrassed. However, they are definitely a good omen. For some people, being naked isn’t embarrassing or vulnerable at all. These people may feel liberated by the lack of clothes, and free to be their true selves. If in your dream, you’re happily naked, it could symbolise that you are very comfortable with yourself and who you are in real life.

Being comfortable in your own skin and being unfazed by seeing you is a sign that you are very confident and capable. Perhaps you’re succeeding at work and feeling very strong and powerful. Or perhaps you’ve allowed yourself to take down your guard and show your true feelings for your partner, and it has lead to a happy, healthy and loving relationship. Whatever it is, take this dream as a great sign that things are going well for you.

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source https://www.psychic2tarot.com/blog/no-category/understanding-dreams-being-naked/

Question of the Week: How to Attract Love

Once a week, we answer a question that has been submitted by one of our community members, right here on the blog. This week we heard from Andy, who has been single for a while and is hoping to get back into the dating game and attract love into his life.

Q – Hi, Andy here. I went through a bad divorce a few years ago and have been single ever since. It took me a long time to get over my ex-wife and I wasn’t interested in dating for a few years, but now I’m ready to move on and get back out there. The problem is, I have no idea how. My mates have told me to get on some dating websites but I’m not sure. I’m not very confident so I’m rubbish at talking to women. Do you have any advice? Thanks!

A – Hi Andy,
It’s so lovely to hear from you. Thank you for submitting a question about love from a man’s point of view; those are rare! Your situation is, unfortunately, a common one. Many people who experience bad breakups find it hard to move on and find love again, and can be single for a long time. However, it’s great that you feel like you’re ready to get back out there and meet somebody. It’s natural to be nervous and unsure of how to attract love back into your life, but we have a few tips to make it a little easier for you. Read on to find out some of the best and easiest ways to attract love into your life.

Love yourself first

It may sound like a cliché, but they are popular for a reason; they’re always true. If you want to attract love into your life, you have to love yourself first. If you feel unattractive and unlovable, that is the vibe that you will give out to others, too. You are the most important person in your life, so it’s important that you love yourself. People think that loving themselves is conceited or vain, but this isn’t true. Simply knowing your own worth and having respect and love for yourself is healthy. The way you treat yourself sets the bar for how everyone else should treat you too.

If you’re feeling low on confidence, show yourself some self-care. Treat yourself to a new haircut and a few new clothes that make you feel good when you’re wearing them. It’s surprising how much confidence just a little change can make. Another way to increase your confidence is by repeating some positive affirmations to yourself. Positive affirmations are a great way to practice the Law of Attraction, which is the idea that your thoughts affect what happens in your life. Give it a try today.

Know what you are looking for

What is your ideal partner like? Do you have a type? Do you like people with specific interests? When looking for love, it’s a good idea to know exactly what you are looking for. I’m not talking about looks; though we all have certain preferences when it comes to who we find attractive, our partners often surprise us by not being at all what we imagined. However, what’s important is their personality, and how compatible it is to yours.

Though it’s true that sometimes opposites attract, it’s important that you have at least a few things in common with your potential love interest. Make a list of your personality traits and your interests, and then make a list of what you would like your significant other to have. Now you know what you’re looking for, you can begin your search!

Put yourself out there

Though I tend to agree that great love often finds you when you’re least expecting it, I also think that you have to be available and ready for love to find you. If you want to attract love, you need to be visible and easy to find. That means putting yourself out there.

Online dating sites and apps have become increasingly popular over the last decade or so. They’re not for everybody, but many people have found love and happiness through using them. The ‘matching’ system that most use is a good way to find people with similar interests to you, and this common ground helps get conversations started. Even if nothing happens in real life, at least using an app will give you some good practice at talking to people, and will get you back into the game.

If you’re not interested in online dating, focus on opportunities to meet new people in real life. Do you have a hobby that causes you to meet people? If not, why not take one up? Not only will it help you meet new people, it will automatically give you an interesting topic for conversation.

Have a Love Tarot Card Reading

If you’re unsure about what’s in store in your romantic life, a Love Tarot Card reading could help shed some light and give you a little insight into what you can expect. Maybe a new partner is just around the corner, and you just need a little encouragement to go and find them. A Love Tarot reading can answer any questions you have, and give you the knowledge and confidence you need to attract love into your life.

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source https://www.psychic2tarot.com/blog/question-of-the-week/how-to-attract-love/